I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
