When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
