it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
