My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
