I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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