Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
