I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
