I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My underwear smells like fireworks.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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