dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
