She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
