if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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