I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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