Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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