this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
