Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
