the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
