My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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