if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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