Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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