Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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