So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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