..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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