Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I didn't notice because vodka
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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