so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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