i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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