Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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