You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
