The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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