I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
