Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
