Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
