kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
