i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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