I just pynch a tree in the face
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
