I bet he comes in French.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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