I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
