Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
