I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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