I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
