You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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