she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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