hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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