y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
