they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
