uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
