i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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