Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
