I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
