So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
