I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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