i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
